The Revolution will not be Pasteurised

From pitchforks to table forks - a rallying cry

OK, I nicked the title from a slogan I saw on a t-shirt at a festival last summer, while the entire poem is of course an appropriation of Gil Scott-Heron’s celebrated work on black liberation. I hope he is not spinning too wildly in his grave. Even we middle class, middle aged white women have our moments of rebellion and resistance.

This month our bathroom is undergoing a long-overdue refurbishment. I mention this because, when I made tea for the decorators, one of them spoke of his preference for raw milk. This was without any prompt from me and that cheered me up, I can tell you. I quite often find myself in cautiously dissident conversation with builders, plumbers and random other male strangers I meet (quite by chance!) in the sauna at the local gym. These practical, self-employed types seem better able than most to see through the nonsense and rely on common sense. I hope they all have children and are passing it on.

Through all the food and health fads, I have always returned to the JERF diet (Just Eat Real Food) and I can honestly say that my weight remains stable, I avoid most colds and bugs, and I can’t remember the last time I went to the doctor. Simple, really, though I recognise that it is not so easy for people with limited access, for whatever reason, to fresh local produce. I would love everyone to enjoy the benefit of that so I have signed up as an ambassador for the Food Finders Hub, a grassroots initiative designed to help make direct connections between independent food producers and consumers. Please check it out and, if you think it’s a good idea too, spread the word!

The Revolution will not be Pasteurised

You will not be told to stay at home
You will not be told to keep your distance to save lives
You will not be able to buy a lifestyle in supermarket aisles
and find good health in vaccine vials, because
the revolution will not be pasteurised

The revolution will not be pasteurised
The revolution will not be brought to you on a plate
by Jeff Bezos, George Soros or Bill Gates
It will not be endorsed by the Princess of Wales in a gorgeous new designer dress
It will be suppressed by the NHS, the C of E and the BBC
It will be subject to a press embargo
The revolution will not be bastardised

The revolution will not be served in bite-sized chunks or succulent strips
with a side order of skinny fries and a free soft drink
The revolution will not be ordered on the app
The revolution will not be low fat
The revolution will not be oven ready, because
the revolution will not be pasteurised

There will be no videos of farmers dancing on TikTok
It will not be buy-one-get-one-free or cut price with Clubcard
It will not be eligible for local government grants
or seek to meet diversity targets
It will make no false claim to be Safe and Effective
The revolution will not be pasteurised

There will be no standing and clapping on doorsteps
There will be no standing and clapping on doorsteps
There will be no AI-generated memes
promoting brand new gene technologies
There will be no funding for Professor Neil Ferguson
to model fictitious terrors from his ivory tower in London
to suit each new political occasion
The Green New Deal and climate subsidies
will no longer look credible
and nobody will care what any politicians say
when the cupboard is bare
because farmers will be on the streets looking for a brighter day
The revolution will not be pasteurised

There will be no finance from private central banks
or backing from giant corporate brands
or policy papers from think tanks
It will not be centralised, digitised or sold as a franchise
It will not be homogenised, denaturised, commodified and advertised
on billboards and commercial TV
The revolution will not be pasteurised

The revolution will not be sprayed with glyphosate
traded in bulk on the stock exchange
or shipped by air freight
You will not have to worry about peasants with pitchforks
tyrants with pseudoscience or Greg Wallace
The revolution will not kill granny

The revolution will not make your choices for you
The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat
The revolution will not be pasteurised
Will not be pasteurised
Will not be pasteurised
The revolution will contain no artificial additives
The revolution will be real

Peppy Scott
with apologies to Gil Scott-Heron