Foopball is wubbish. Ruined my evening poo walks as the pubs were full of idiots so we couldn't pop in for a quick one (he has BEER, I have water and treats from the kibble cupboard). Chasing a ball should be fun. Mostly I heard swearing. Idiots. And the ball doesn't even squeak! Idiots.
I concur; children are being slaughtered, nations are being softly genocided, meanwhile, some people are outraged by a goal decision. Idiocracy has arrived.
Funny enough, for metrical/rhyming purposes — to my ear anyway — it doesn't work anywhere near as well as "just kicking a bag full of air". On first read, adding "full" was something I immediately felt I should suggest.
You're not wrong and I did consider making the last line scan, but I quite like the shortfall of syllables and the bump. There is something disappointing about it that mirrors the meaning.
Foopball is wubbish. Ruined my evening poo walks as the pubs were full of idiots so we couldn't pop in for a quick one (he has BEER, I have water and treats from the kibble cupboard). Chasing a ball should be fun. Mostly I heard swearing. Idiots. And the ball doesn't even squeak! Idiots.
<3 Hattie xx
I concur; children are being slaughtered, nations are being softly genocided, meanwhile, some people are outraged by a goal decision. Idiocracy has arrived.
“Just kicking a bag of air” should be the next marketing strategy of FIFA. It’s a great slogan!
Nike used “Just Do It” to build a brand (although the phrase was stolen from George Harrison).
I lifted it from a comment under I read under someone’s post and can’t find it now to credit it, so I can’t claim it, but it did inspire me
Funny enough, for metrical/rhyming purposes — to my ear anyway — it doesn't work anywhere near as well as "just kicking a bag full of air". On first read, adding "full" was something I immediately felt I should suggest.
You're not wrong and I did consider making the last line scan, but I quite like the shortfall of syllables and the bump. There is something disappointing about it that mirrors the meaning.
I thought that might be the case, especially for someone as skilled as yourself.
Still, for a poem that's so very and skillfully sing-songish, the clang and thud is so strong that, it kind of ruins it for me.
Anyway, that's my perspective ... just so you see how others may experience it. Cheers!
Thanks -- point taken 🙂
So many great points ... nice!